Spring

spring
reveals itself
much like the whisper
of a church bell
in the early dawn,
not yet heard,
but buzzing with the vibration
of the coming light

it glitters
on waves of careless crests
the multitudes of grateful praises
unheard through the bleak bluster and salt
of winter
crying out
to the stranger sun
sparkling ever fondly
as the memory of youth

it busts
through aching windowpanes
the sweetness of its breath
bring burning tears of relief
its joyful canter knocks books off shelves,
lifts dust off floors,
and shakes sadness down
from cavernous corners

it grows
on rooted paths and tree branches
on spider webs and fingertips
on sunlit streams,
kitchen sinks,
and pairs of shoes
ever-revealing a lightness
in the heaviest of things,
never-concealing the grey
that came before it

it dances
a crazed and frenzied tango
of the elements
a passionate exposition upon the living
and those to come
it lunges for summer
and the promise of simplicity
echoing the cries of newborns
and the shadows of the deceased

it gives
like a dam held too long
tearing through stone which was laid down
thousands of years before
they are nothing but a whisper
an ancient speck
a forgotten tendril

spring explodes
cascading through valleys
a sun-kissed frenzy
giving birth to light
nourishing the womb of the earth
with the ease of youth
she lifts the veil
and shields the stars
with the universal certainty
that joy
prevails.

little brother

I remember climbing trees and
pretending to shoot
each other from branches
across the back lot
mixing magic potions
out of mud and milk weed
until all the sadness was
almost forgot.

I remember 50 cents
for a can of orange soda
which we'd share
from the vending machine
down the block
and the old man who we always
thought was blind
waved “hello” and told us how big
we'd got.

At six years old
you taught me to skateboard,
and I taught you to jump rope
We'd race on our bikes
as the light flicker-faltered
down country roads
as we tried to remember
dad's jokes.

I remember your blond hair
sucking on your own fingers
we'd fight over who got
to open the mail
I remember playing dress up
in grandma's nightgowns
and your hat with the little
black raccoon tail

I remember the train
that passed through the back yard
the rain barrel with goldfish
that grandpa had saved
I remember the squish
of dirt and mud
that was our play ground
until dad had it paved.

I remember hay bales and
putting straw in our teeth
and sharing the sunset
in an old truck bed,
but most of all I remember
my first
and favorite and definitely
most irreplaceable
first
best
friend.

Sometimes II

I look at pictures of you
sometimes, only in my mind
I wonder what your breath tastes like
and if you ever
miss the taste of mine.

too much

you always say
so little
i always say
too much

once upon a time

i'm your sweet little darling
your slice of apple pie
too sour to swallow all at once
sweet enough to make you cry

i'm knitting my own insides
i'm tearing apart the threads
i'm pouring myself into tiny saucers
and falling asleep in beds

i'm decaying from the inside out
i'm rotting at your touch
i'm craving you like earth craves rain
it's not possible to have too much

i'm your wandering soldier
the constant question why
you love me enough to let me go
but not enough to watch me cry

i'm the devil on your shoulder
i'm the angel at your side
i'll never do you wrong unless
you ask me to decide

i'll move the moon to prove myself
i'll burn my teeth and flesh
just to prove i'm sorry for
how you felt the day i left

i'm your precious moment
your little satin doll
i need your hand to cross the street
and your arms to break my fall

i'm fragile as the silk sheets
you used to tuck me in
i'm strong as the wooden stick
that reminds me i have sinned

don't you see i'm here for you
and want to be your all
but every time you look at me
i'm still just 3 feet tall

i've given my whole heart to you
and maybe that was wrong
but i can't stop trying to make
this life into a song

i've been your little baby girl
and i've been your demon child
and for a while i took off
and danced out in the wild

but now i am your constant sun
i'll shine until you sleep
i'll take all of your promises
your secrets i will keep

i'll brush your hair and feed you stars
i'll weave your dreams into dew
and when you awaken i'll bathe you in
the sun and ocean blue

i'll shower you with wonder
and hold you 'til you shine
because you did the same for me
once upon a time

road trip

your casual glances
and my second chances
are poised
in the light
of the sun

your fingers are gripping
and I'm slowly sipping
the truck stop coffee
I bought
just for fun

the dusk whispers secrets
of moonlight and splendor
we ease into
the depths
of night

and as the radio blasts
I try not to laugh
because you never
sing the words
quite right

we find ourselves tangled
in the grasses and breezes
in the shadows
of the buildings
we dismiss

we are exposed and unearthed
by the light of the moon
and I can taste the stars
in your lips
when we kiss

there's no way of knowing
why the wind is blowing
or why it suddenly
decided
to snow

but here in the great
uncertain, I'm sure
that wherever
you are
I'll go.

Sometimes

Sometimes
I pretend to be
someone else
just to feel a little
more like myself

Today

today I'm free
but tomorrow
a prisoner
of my own heart
only I know
I am captive
and only I
can set myself
free

Fool

I've been thick-skinned,
resistant to your grin,
but have longed
to grow akin
to you
much to my
chagrin

I've dangled my heart
above your head
and spat out every word
you've ever said
just to keep you on your
side of the bed
and keep my thoughts
inside my own head

I've closed my eyes
at your loving sighs
asked you questions
and turned to the skies
I never heard
your replies

I've been a fool
for you
but been too proud
to give it to you
because I knew
you knew it,
too.